go home

there's this guy at church who's graduating in december and has snagged himself a freshman to marry.
he keeps referring to the situation by saying that he's "graduating from the single ward with honors, not failing out like some do."

i can't even explain how much his saying that disgusts me.
getting engaged is not an "achievement", and getting married is not something to be checked off the to-do list!
barf barf, you're marrying an 18 year old, old man.

confession #8475736

we've already established the fact that i was a morbid child.
(we also all know that i still am a morbid human being. but that's beside the point)

so back in the day, i used to like to set booby traps.
once i was mad at allen, so i tried to make this trap for his panda bear. it didn't work and i was really upset.
the next time i tried to set a booby trap, i took a more direct approach. i took thumb tacks and nestled them into the carpet, pointy side up, so that one day some unsuspected walker would step their fleshy foot into my menacing thumb tack.

that didn't really work either; i stepped on the tack myself and had to call my days of booby trapping quits.