great balls of fire

mommy and i were eating lunch and she spotted a squirrel in the backyard. you know how she loves watching the little critters back there.
and it sparked this lovely conversation:

mommy: how do you think you can tell if it's a mommy squirrel or a daddy squirrel?
me: you pick it up, flip it over, and say, "where are you, wee wee?!"
mommy: haaah? i don't think i know what a squirel's looks like. do you know?
me: no, i bet you could look it up.
mommy: yes, google "squirrel wee wee" and see what you get...*bing* pornography sites!
me: yep, that is probably what you would get.
mommy: i do wonder what it looks like though. i know what a dog's looks like, and cow, and horse, and cats...a cat's look like hemorrhoids in the back.
me: hemorrhoids?!
mommy: yes.

tis the season to cook and eat excessively