grandpoopies

Mom: Alexa, when are you going to have a grandchild for me?
Me: I could start tomorrow if you like. Actually, I could have one for you tomorrow.
Mom: Don't try to fool me! I would know that that is poop and not a baby!

no additional comments needed

an email:

I heard this on-line: when you go shopping clothes, be careful inside the dressing room.
Espically outside the USA, Girls, women dissaperard, from the room , throught inside walls. Their hands, feet were cut off when people found them, or in a hell like cage and locked, or forced to do hellish show , no limbs. They were lucky, people found them, some never found forever. The world became wire now. Anyway, when go out , do not go alone. please. you are so curt and young.

what is she trying to tell us?

So Allen apparently learned how to make homemade pulled chinese noodles and mom called to say:
" Allen made these noodles they are so good! And when you come home he can teach us all! And then you can teach your children! And then all the grandchildren will play together and make these noodles together! And they will sit around and say, ' look at my noodle! i made it! ha ha! it is mine!' "