comedy at md anderson

while at the md anderson carnival, they stuck this tubey with a light down her throat through her nose.
in order to do this, they made her make the noise "eee" because it facilitates the tube's movement.

during this process, the following scene came about:
doctor: say "eee"
mommy: "eeee"..."eeee"..."eee"...
doctor(referring to the resident): why don't you come over here and take a look
mommy: "eee"..."eee"..."eee"...
resident: you can just breathe normally now.
mommy(cocking her head up to the side): no "eee?"
resident: no "eee."

don't forget to be fair when i go.....

Mommy has been so morose lately.... and she has decided to update her will...and she felt the need to tell me in her morose, calm, level-toned, sighing ( the world is falling apart on me) voice yesterday to remember that having power of attorney is a BIG power and that i must remember to be "fair." and she was like, "i told sherri that if you guys need council that she should be the one"...ya know, in case we break out in a big fight over mom's will and stuff we should go seek sherri for advice to resolve our differences....and then she told me that we never know what could happen and that people change and that we shoudln't let our spouses influence us......since we have spouses and all its only normal that she would worry about that.....i told her that she should stop worrying about dumb stuff and stop not trusting us...and she goes, "can't you just say, 'i will carry out all your wishes to the best of my ability' "...and i said, "no, that's not what family is for"

but just so you all know... i plan on giving you all the rotting food that is yet to be found and hiding in the crevices of our poor home .... whatever else is left after that (and it probably won't be much).. i will put in a paper sack and take with me..... just so we're clear.... i'm pretty sure that's what mom meant by "fair"

mediterranean diet?

according to dr. bob's mediterranean diet for the "stressed person" you're supposed to eat every 2 hours.

mom told me this, and instead of being a healthier person, i'm pretty sure i just use it as an excuse to eat more.

i'll 30% body fat you, dr. bob.

worry tumors

i made the mistake of showing mom my enlarged lymph node on saturday. she was like-what? why? we have to go get this checked out.
so she started making plans on how i needed to go see dr. bob with her on monday morning, and then i needed to go see dr. garcia and get my blood checked, etc.

so this morning, i got up at 7:45 to see dr. bob with mom.
when we got to see dr. bob, the conversation went exactly like this:
mom: dr. bob, i have a favor to ask, but i don't know how i should repay you.
bob: okay.
mom: alexa has a swollen "lymphen" nodule
bob: that's normal.
me: that's what i said.
mom: that's normal?
bob: yes, it just means she's fighting off something, whether it be infection or a foreign toxin.
mom: oh.

and i think, didn't i tell you the exact same thing? all of dr. bob's words are magic. where can we buy one for the home?

tough thinking by alexa

things i miss about home

*we feel fat so we must go for a good run.... alexa and melodie begin running

melodie: panting
alexa: steady strides
melodie thinking: must keep up with alexa
alexa thinking: must keep up with melodie

after the end of a good run

melodie says out loud: oh my gosh- you were running fast
alexa says out loud: oh my gosh- YOU were running fast

now that i'm not at home i have no one to impress and i am getting fat all by myself..... well, i guess eric is around to see me getting fat- but i think he probably prefers that i stick around with alexa and challenge her to quick paced runs....

this post was dull--- too bad

good times..

remember when i used to make sticker charts for Alexa? i would list her chores and tasks and then make a grid so that we could put stickers next to her tasks when she did them. and when we filled up her sticker chart ( which meant that we probably cleaned the room) we would throw a tea party and invite mommy. i bet mommy misses those days when we would invite her to have fake tea with us and the stuffed animals.

bored

i want to write something, but i'm so bored at work right now i can't think of anything to write.
mommy called me the other day:

Mom: Allen needs computer skills
Melodie: but he's majoring in farms
Mom: the modern-day farm!!
Melodie: so?
Mom: he doesn't know how to use excel
Melodie: i don't think that matters. his computer basics are fine.
Mom: I disagree
Melodie: the only person who has insufficient computer basics is you

i'm a mean person.