mother, the subservient asian woman

i like how mom likes to change her persona from story to story.
in some stories, she's the teacher's pet and the good granddaughter, in others she's the girl that runs around beating the schoolboys up and making them bleed.

in this story, she plays the part of the little surpressed tomboy:
I am so excited for you too.Alexa. I loved scoker sports and bat mitten , probably you kids never knew that. I was pretty suppressed back in my times. I wanted to learn scocker, no one allows girls in back then. I took a basketball class at YMCA, only me as a girl, so I could not play. I went home. So I learned to swim. But I wanted to play with people, I wanted to yell!!!! and I wanted to run!!!!

...i'm pretty sure she ran, i'm pretty sure she yelled-how else would she have gotten the practice, i'm pretty sure she beat uncle roger up with rocks. maybe that wasn't "scoker," but i don't doubt that she lived up her childhood in the countryside.

Sorry Joy.

from the mother hen:
Joy loved bread when she was little. I baked
it and Joy would sit under the brick oven wall , ate 5 little buns at one
time. Maybe I gave Joy too much, too early, so Joy had allergy now. Sorry
Joy.

my tv loves

so....... i was having a pretty weird dream and i can't explain it all.... but i'll just give the highlights

so... back to my original love, tom cruise... apparently he wants me back..... and i was hanging out with him and his children and his wife ..... and he had really cute kids .... his wife wasn't katie holmes though, it was just some made up character

anywho... and then everything kinda morphed into my new tv love .... ahem, patrick dempsey (*sigh*).... but of course in my dream nothing had really changed since my dreams never make any sense..... so them i'm sitting in like a waiting room with addison (red head wife of patrick dempsey on tv) and his children (who WERE tom cruise's children).... and they are waiting on the delivery of a baby (i'm still not sure who's baby-- at first i thought it was tom cruise's wife.... so maybe in my dream tom cruise had multiple wives...i think that was part of hte confusion...but anyways, not important)....so there is some sort of weird complication about like the baby's saliva and teh esophagus?..... so addison is worried, but dr weber (the black chief on grey's anatomy) has done something to try and fix it for hte moment......THEN (now things are getting juicy) addison comfronts me about whether or not i'm having an affair with her husband (somehow my role is a little different suddenly)...so i'm searching in my brain to try and figure out what the answer is b/c apparently i'm not sure .... i think i was just like recalling episodes of grey's anatomy or something...... and so she's like, "cuz ya know, that time you smelled exactly like him"....and i was like all tongue tied and i was like, "addison..... "......so she's like, " ya know, i can't do this."...and she takes off her wedding ring and puts it on the table.....and i get up and leave....and she gets up and leaves.......and we start walkin gin separate directions and then patrick dempsey (*sigh*) finally shows up and he's like ,"oh- which one do i go after? what is going on?" .... so finally he comes after me (yay!) and he's like, "don't go- just wait pleaaaassseee......" and he asks me to please watch his kids in the waiting room (i know, i thought they were tom cruise's children, but whatever) ... so i was like, "FINE- just b/c i don't want your kids to sit there by themselves"...so i don't know where he went - to go talk to addison?.... and then someone (maybe you guys) asked me what i was doing nad i'm like, "i'm watching tom cruise's kids!" (yeah, i know i'm getting tom cruise and patrick dempsey all mixed up).... and then some time afterwards mom came along and ruiined my romantic moment while i had a bike near the water with his kids and maybe him and she was like, "hahha- DID you know melodie has never done this......"...... way to go mom, way to ruin my patrick dempsey/tom cruise moment.........

somewhere in this dream i'm also peeing in the street and i'm like, "oh my gosh- i'm STILL peeing"...but that's not very romantic and i don't know why i was doing that (i think its jsut cuz i had to pee for real)..... i don'tk now how this amazing story ends...but i'd like to think i ride off into the sunset with one of them.... right now i'm leaning towards patrick dempsey, but i'll settle for tom cruise

alexa is morbid

yes, i truly have nothing better to do then to copy and paste proof of alexa's morbidness..... quotes from alexa:

in 6th grade, my science teacher told us that you can literally put your finger through a baby's soft spot.
now i haven't tried it, but i'm not saying that i haven't wanted to.

well, i'm 18.
hello adulthood, hello death.

finding childhood school journals in the garage, my favorite quote from second grade being, "my favorite part of the story was when the fox ate gingerbread man." (illustration included)

oh good times

i was reading some old posts from my blog, and i found this one:

a day in the life of the tangs:
mommy: *pinches joy's back fat*
joy: OWWWWWWWW!
mommy: yeah.

family "friends" part II

That reminds me of the time i was in Beijing and mom told charlie's dad to tell his cousin i was there. and the woman CAME to the school to find me. what a stalker. and then she was roaming the hall saying, "tang yao?... tang yao?"...and THEN when i said that the other dorm was better she TOLD my poor teacher, "why are these rooms worse?"....and THEN she would call me EVERY saturday MORNING looking for me.....and THEN she brought a tape recorder so i could say english vocabulary words to her son.... who was a fat spoiled child..... and she goes, "it was your mom's idea"....yeah, go figure

crazy chinese.

family "friends"

i don't understand the mentality that i need to visit bao bao's husband's little brother's family. we aren't important countries that need goodwill ambassadors so that we can hold hands and sign treaties.

if (we all know this means when) i visit them, i hope they give me lots of money. like when i walk in, i want them to start shoving it into my pockets. that would make the 40 minute drive and subsequent hours of fake pleasant conversation worth it. they could send me off with a roasted pig too.

then i might be content.

mmmmmmm

umph, she farted

do you remember how allen used to sing that "song"?